I post the following article I've written recently after a recent period of soul searching. Originally it was for a Facebook group that I created, so I've slightly changed so of the wording to make it more compatible for a general audience. Comments are encouraged....
ARE YOU PISSED AT GOD FOR WHATEVER REASON?
Are you tired of him either not listening to your prayers or not responding with any acknowledgment one way or the other at all when you need Him the most?
Are you confused that he is referred to as a loving "Father", when the only father he comes close to being is a deadbeat dad. i.e. He's absent all the time, he gives you no personal individual attention, etc. As far as providing for you, that is usually inadequate as well. He usually depends on others (i.e the Holy Ghost) to pick up the slack and do his communicating for Him. That is, if you can understand your "feelings", because he seems to be limited to that expression for the most part. It does not help his case that he has conflicting scriptures on whether feelings of the heart can even be trusted in spiritual matters (see Jeremiah 17:9 contrasted with Luke 24:32). Anything involving tangible effort on his part is almost always ruled out. If you or I parented in the same manner God does then the authorities would take custody of your kids, scold you severely, and lock you up eventually.
Is it irritating to you that everything about him is inconsistent, hit-and-miss, never-know-what-you can-count-on-from-one-minute-to-the-next? He always has a caveat to fall back on as to why he can't be prompt or dependable in anything.
Are you tired of being told that you lack faith, when what you could really use is some simple clarity from the main Man himself, and not from one of his over-eager representatives who seem to think that God needs them to interpret his scriptures (see 2 Pet. 1:20) or do his bidding for Him on his behalf. Am I wrong or does it seem that by their actions they actually have less faith than the people they are trying to lead or correct? I was always taught that when it comes to approaching God that we could do so plainly and boldly (Heb 4:16) without fear of reprisal, even if it means saying that the emperor has no clothes. Am I wrong to assume that when he fails to respond in a way that I can understand that there is a serious problem?
Are you hurt when you are told that you are a sign seeker, demanding excessive physical proof for things of a spiritual nature when what you are really endeavoring to do is avoid being deceived by either charlatans or people with no true knowledge of anything spiritual, those who would use you for their own personal gain and glory.
Is it confusing to you that God's plan for humanity is founded and centered on the Atonement of his only begotten Son Jesus Christ, and as a pillar of this Atonement, the Resurrection was to be a witness to believers that he had risen from the dead. But then he proceeded to ascend into heaven and hardly hide-nor-hair has been seen of Him since then 2000 years ago. He might as well still be dead, because he's just as absent as if he was dead. I think the singer Sting said it best in one of his song lyrics when he wrote, "Father, if Jesus exists then how come he never is here?" I think talk is cheap as the saying goes. (Although for God, actually talking would be huge step in the right direction) For God to actually show up from time to time and do something meaningful instead of manipulating people would speak volumes.
Are you shocked to learn that a being who has all the wealth of the universe somehow inexplicably needs your money? And his self-called "ministers" are more interested in the contents of your wallet (as well as extracting as much free labor as they can get from you) than in the salvation of your soul?
Are you troubled that this life seems to be little more than a joyless existence, a laboratory for the Gods to exercise their sick curiosity (Abraham 3:25) and merely be a forum for them to see how far man can be aggravated, distressed and provoked before he breaks (Mosiah 3:19). Forgive me, but I cannot help BUT scoff at that kind of indifference.
Is this life a mass of confusion? Do you ever look around at all the death, disease, famine, suffering, ignorance that abounds on this planet and say silently to yourself (in the words of George Carlin below), "This is not good work. If this is the best that God can do, I am NOT impressed."
Are you sick of being told that God gave man his agency and that is why evil abounds in this world, when it seems that what they are really trying to do is make excuses for God's lack of taking the initiative in anything. It's as if mankind is to do all the work. And then God takes all the credit if and when good things result and blames someone or something else when it all goes south. You can't have it both ways God. It's your plan, you own it and all of it's fruits.
When you do try to do what is right, do you feel there is no incentive to do the right thing and that there is a fundamental lack of promptness in Him when it comes to encouraging that which is right and good by rewarding appropriately and in a timely manner? Do you feel his punishments when you screw up are far more prompt than his rewards when you have done good?
Yes, I am a sinner, I already know that and have never denied it and more importantly, I have already acknowledged it. But somehow or another I think if I was pure in some way, I don't think it would matter to Him anyway. I wasn't always this way. In a way I am still becoming. But in the in the relative innocence of youth I tried, I TRIED, hard to come to grips with what I observed and juxtaposed with what I should know. I understand well enough I think, that this life is to be a probationary period to be tried in the furnace of affliction. I just can also recognize that incessant misery is neither edifying or motivating. I was under the impression that "Men are that they might have joy" (2 Nephi 2:25). It does not take much of a brain surgeon to look around in this mortal sphere and realize that the ratio of joy to misery in this existence is overwhelmingly lopsided. But please don't dare to verbalize that dissatisfaction in any way, no matter how plain it is, lest you become accused of murmuring.(1st Nephi 2:1-12)
Are you surprised that if you dare point out any of the above points to any believer they immediately lose their so-called Christian charity and become hostile and almost threatening? It is as if you have skewered some cherished belief on their behalf. Trust me, I have no quarrel with the likes of anyone who craves the Deity that I have just described. But allow me to express my own honest dissatisfaction without accusing me of "kicking against the pricks." (Acts 9:5) No, I don't think I am smarter than God, but I am aware enough to know that I don't need to constantly taste dirt to know that I don't like it. The more I think about God and his gospel, the more glaringly apparent it is to me of the utter lack of any recognition of legitimate discontent.
Are you absolutely infuriated when you know that he possesses all power, all might, mind and dominion and will hardly ever use any of that power to do ANYTHING, one way or another? It's as if he could care less about much of anything. I once heard someone compare God to a slumlord, he shows up occasionally to harass you if the rent is late but when there needs to be some serious improvements made to the property, he will stall and hum and haw, have every excuse in the world to not do anything substantive. He is the walking epitome of exaggerated claims and false promises. The more I think about it, the more God seems to be little more than a disinterested administrator, and a poor one at that. Would I be amiss to suggest that before any Holy Being, like God, who takes it upon themselves to go thru the hassle of creating worlds and peopling them with their offspring, to actually give a shit?
I'm amazed when I come across people who think that once this life is over, somehow God is going to turn "nice" and eternity will be this joyful place and all the hassle we have endured will finally make sense. But if God is consistent I would dare guess that the next world will be similar to this one, with God constantly stringing you along with a carrot on the end of a stick like a donkey. And if you ever dare protest he'll bring that stick down on you with a vengeance.
Yes, in case you are wondering, it is exhausting to constantly churn these thoughts up in my mind and worse, give air to them here on the internet where others can mock at their pleasure. It's personally uncomfortable to never have any lasting peace and to know that continued silence from the heavens is to me and to me alone, a silent acknowledgment and validation that my claims really do not bother him that much. It is agonizing to me to see that God is unmoved by my pleading. Is this how you want us to follow your example God?
Do not comment unless you can take an honest look at what you believe and more importantly, WHY?
This is not a hate God article. I won't tolerate hate on here. I despise outright disrespect. I'm more hurt than anything I guess.
This is not an Atheist rant either. Oh, I believe in God all right, I just don't like what I've seen (or haven't seen for that matter) so far.
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